Leading with Love

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In 1984, Tina Turner recorded a song that became a hit called What's Love Got to Do With It? As a leader, you may ask the question "What does love have to do with my leadership?" I am learning that love and leadership go hand in hand. Leading with love can potentially determine the lasting impact and significance you have on your family, company, and community. If you want to make a difference in the lives of those you lead, love must be present and evident in your leadership. The fact is that leaders lead people, not projects and numbers. So, to get the results we want in our areas of leadership, we have to lead the people with love. 

Leading with love will help the people under your care to believe and trust you as a leader. Having the right motives and making decisions in the best interest of others will build your reputation as a leader who cares for those you lead. I have experienced several leaders who have led and still lead with love and have watched how the environment thrived in the organization and their families because of their leadership. My parents led my family with love. Love is the great equalizer because even when being held accountable, the love outweighs the discipline because of the understanding that the leader, in this case, my parents, cared about me as a person and was not going to allow me to be satisfied with mediocrity because of their belief that I could be just as good as the next person. Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." I've been made to feel like I am important and have skills that can benefit others. How do people remember how you made them feel?

I don't want to get into feelings and emotions, but please do not miss the point. We are leading people and people want to feel loved and valued. When they feel loved and valued, they buy into you as their leader and your influence becomes greater in their lives. Love is an action word and our actions should show that we value each individual under our influence regardless of if we are praising or correcting them. It does not matter who you are and where you lead, you will eventually, if not already, lead a challenging person and the behaviors of this person will challenge the desire and choice to lead with love. Whether it is an employee, a child, a student, a parishioner, etc., difficult people will be there and will challenge our leadership. As a leader, love should be the dominant characteristic in our leadership, even with those who are difficult to lead.

Love is an action word, it is a choice, and it must be done intentionally. If you are wondering how you can lead with love here are 15 characteristics and a declaration of love Paul gives us in his letter to Corinth in 55 A.D.

Characteristics: 

1. Patient
2. Kind
3. Does not Envy (Is not Jealous)
4. Does not Parade Itself (Is not Boastful) 
5. Is not Puffed Up (Is not Proud)
6. Does not Behave Rudely
7. Does not Seek its Own (Does not Demand its Own Way)
8. Is not Provoked (Is not Irritable)
9. Thinks no Evil (Keeps no Record of being Wronged)
10. Does not Rejoice in Iniquity (Does not Rejoice about Injustice)
11. Rejoices in the Truth (Rejoices Whenever the Truth Wins Out)
12. Bears all Things (Never Gives Up)
13. Believes all Things (Never Loses Faith)
14. Hopes all Things (Always Hopeful)
15. Endures all Things (Endures Through Every Circumstance)

Declaration:

1. It never fails (Will last forever)

Although these characteristics were written in the first century, they are timeless and still relevant today. These characteristics are the intentional actions we must take when leading with love. Leading with love takes work and the work begins in your mind. We must make up our minds to lead this way and not allow the actions of those under us or over us to discourage us from leading with love. I choose to work towards applying these characteristics in my leadership because I not only love what I do, but I love the people that I lead. These timeless characteristics will help me as a leader because these characteristics have a track record proven to work in whatever century or culture I lead.

I believe that leading with love is the ultimate leadership challenge. If you don't think these characteristics will enhance your leadership, I challenge you to put them to the test. As you and I accept this leadership challenge of leading with love and putting these characteristics to the test, we will be the leaders who will impact the lives of others.

Application:

1. Don't Hold Grudges: As leaders, we set the tone for our environment and unfortunately, it is counterproductive to our environment if we hold grudges. Someone will inevitably mistreat, misrepresent, and misunderstand us and our leadership. We are held to a higher standard and if we want the people in our families, homes, communities, and jobs to get along and "make things right" when they are wronged, we must do it ourselves. Being a leader does not give me or you a pass to hold grudges. A strategy I have learned that could help repair the relationship when being wronged is to have a crucial conversation. This will assist you with "making things right" as you lead with love.
2. Don't be Provoked: Some people try to push your buttons on purpose to make you upset and respond inappropriately. These people know what to say and how to say it to get under your skin, or at least they try to. You and I cannot fall into their trap and bite the bait thrown in our direction. We have too much to lose by allowing ourselves to be provoked, the biggest being the respect of those we lead. When someone tries to induce a rude reaction out of you pause, think, and take a deep breath before you respond. This can help you gather your thoughts before making a "knee-jerk" response that could negatively affect your leadership.
3. Be Flexible: There is always more than one way to do something. Being a leader or in a leadership position and saying that something has to be done a certain way and that it is your way or the highway no matter what can make you look less like a collaborative, innovative, and loving leader and you will look more like a dictator. There are times when something needs to be done a certain way with no questions asked, but it should be communicated honestly and transparently to those under your care. I am learning that the more people are involved in the discussion and feel that they have a say, the more people are willing to buy into the decision made. Therefore, flexibility allows you to lead with love in collaborative discussions and the distribution of leadership among the group. 

Conclusion:

Leading with love is a choice and doing so will enhance our leadership and strengthen our influence. Three ways we can lead with love are by not holding grudges, not being provoked, and being flexible There are other ways I'm sure you can think of to lead with love and implement the 15 characteristics that Paul mentions in his letter. I ask you to join me in accepting the leadership challenge of leading with love. Hopefully, you want to be a leader that those under you know you love and value them, even when holding them accountable. Remember, love never fails, so if you lead with love, your leadership will translate to whatever generation and culture you are privileged to lead. 

Additional Comments:

I want to hear from you. Please post your comments and suggestions in the comments section on this page. Thank you for reading or listening to this blog post. Stay tuned for the next blog scheduled to post on Monday, April 7, 2025.