The Gift of Growing Pains

Audio Version

Growth is good. Growth is also important. Growth is necessary to become the leaders we are supposed to be for the people we serve. As leaders, we should want to grow and create an environment for the people we lead to grow. Although growth is necessary and we should desire to grow, growth can be painful. Have you ever experienced growing pains? I have. I had some growing pains in my teenage years as I grew into this 6-foot-3-inch frame. But the growing pains I am talking about here happen in our minds and stretch us to become better leaders, influencers, and decision-makers for our family, teams, community, and organizations.

As leaders, we must challenge ourselves and put ourselves in situations that will force us to grow. Unfortunately, growth doesn’t happen automatically, or at least continual growth doesn’t. It’s more than reading books, attending conferences, workshops, and seminars. It’s even more than having discussions with a coach or mentor. To experience growth and the growing pains that come with it, it’s about taking action. We must apply what we learn in our daily routines and understand that doing things the way they always have been done and following the status quo does not promote growth. But when we decide to do things differently and change systemic norms, we will grow and, in the process, experience some growing pains. These growing pains are good because, by taking action, we and those we lead are stretched and challenged to develop new habits, thoughts, and systems.

As leaders, the growing pains we experience can cause frustration, mental fatigue, and even anger. But we must push through those obstacles and frustration and make the necessary adjustments to continue moving forward. Similarly to the discomfort I felt as a teenage boy during my growth spurt, we must endure the discomfort of not having all the answers and/or not knowing how something will turn out because of the uncertainty caused by the actions of change. As we grow through this process, we, as leaders, and our people can become wiser and have stronger systems by enduring the pain of growth.

Application:

1. Embrace New Challenges: The lessons we learn when we take on new challenges often happen through disappointments—things not going the way we planned. Knowing disappointment is a possibility when pursuing a new job, opening or expanding a business, developing or restructuring a policy, and even implementing or restructuring a system should not prevent us from embracing the new challenge. The growth that happens by embracing the new challenge outweighs the process of taking in a lot of information and doing nothing with it. Embrace new challenges and avoid any alternative that does not allow growth to happen individually and collectively.
2. Reflect and Debrief: What we do while we are experiencing the pain brought on by the challenges and disappointments will determine how much we grow. Yes, we might become angry because of the complaints of others, the roadblocks or barriers that have caused us problems, the rejection we face, and/or the frustrations of expectations not being met. But instead of quitting or becoming stuck and stagnant in the anger and frustration, reflect. Choose not to reflect with regret, but reflect to learn and grow. Once we get our minds in a place to reflect and grow, we can discuss the matter with our team, mentor, boss, friend(s), family, etc. This process will help us move forward and provide us with information that might help us the next time we decide to embrace a new challenge. 
3. Do it Again: Each challenge will present new obstacles, but each time we experience new and current challenges, we should be a little wiser and mentally stronger because of the growth that has happened or is happening through the pain. I don't believe anyone likes to feel the pain experienced during the growth process, but the question we must be ready to answer is “How much do I want to and need to grow for the people that I have been entrusted to lead and serve?”

Conclusion:

Remember, growth is not always comfortable, but it is necessary to become the leaders we are meant to be. We must challenge ourselves and our people to develop and improve our systems, strategies, ideologies, and practices. When doing this, we will experience growing pains. I hope that we will endure the anger, frustration, doubt, and discomfort of the growing pains because the outcome far outweighs the pain. Hopefully, those who are listening to us and watching us will be able to say that our growth resembles that of a young teenage boy or girl who has outgrown the pants that used to fit them perfectly. Since growth is a continual process, when we get a new pair of pants to wear, figuratively speaking, let us not become complacent because we are happy with how our new pair of pants fit and neglect to continue growing by failing to embrace new challenges, new obstacles, and new growing pains. 

Additional Comments:

Thank you for reading or listening to this blog, and I hope it was meaningful to you. Please share this with others and insert your questions, comments, feedback, and suggestions in the comments section on this page. Stay tuned for the next blog post in November, and I hope you have a blessed day, week, and month ahead.