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Some years ago, a manager introduced me and my colleagues to a concept called Empty the Cup. At the beginning of his smaller meetings, this particular boss would have everyone go around the room and empty the cup by stating what was on their mind. In theory, this was to get the "temperature of the room" and allow the people in the meeting to settle in, clearing their minds from whatever was happening outside the meeting. Now that I am leading meetings, I have begun exploring this concept. As I reflected on what it meant to empty the cup, I learned a valuable lesson I was not expecting to learn. This lesson is simple but very important to leading effectively. The lesson is that I must fill my cup so I have something to give to others.
A cup must be full of something to empty the cup. Some cups have more in them than others do and have more in them to empty. If I am thirsty and drink all the water from a cup filled with water, I will become full of the water that I drank from the cup. If I want to empty my cup and impact others, I must make sure my cup is full. The more I have in me, the more I can pour out. We must not fail to realize there are people under our sphere of influence who are thirsty to improve and looking for direction. Therefore, we, as leaders, have an opportunity to empty our cups to influence the growth of the people in our organizations.
The process of filling our cups must happen over and over again, and it must happen before we should even think about emptying our cups. Some leaders want to empty their cups without continuing to fill their cups. Doing one without the other will never produce the lasting results of effective leadership. Leaders who want to stay relevant, fresh, innovative, and creative (the process of emptying) must be intentional about what their cups are becoming filled with. What books are you reading? What podcast are you listening to? Who are you being coached and mentored by? These are just a few questions to ponder when reflecting on the intentional process of filling your cup.
The people I seek to learn from and the leaders who thrive are the ones who continue to fill their cups. This leader does not let success or experience become a substitute for learning. One of John Wooden's favorite maxims is a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson said, "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely help another without helping himself." Great leaders continue to learn and seek opportunities to learn because they know they must continue to grow to lead effectively. Leading is serving others. It is very difficult, practically impossible, to serve others well without anything to give. I fill my cup because I want to lead in a way that positively affects those around me. What about you?
Application:
- Surround yourself with people who can pour into your life.
- Read books and listen to podcasts that will develop your mind to lead more effectively.
- Empty your cup as you lead, mentor, and coach. It's a reciprocal process.
Surround yourself with people who can pour into your life: These are mentors, coaches, and peers you can learn from. There is always someone bigger and better than you in certain areas. The fact of the matter is we all have room for improvement and can learn from others and their experiences. I am always looking for individuals I can learn from and am intentional about asking specific leaders to meet with me so I can learn from them.
Read books and listen to podcasts that will develop your mind to lead more effectively: "Not all readers become leaders, but all leaders are readers" is a quote accredited to former president Harry Truman. Just like learning from people through mentoring and coaching, we can gain a lot of insight and ideas from reading books (Nowadays, I always have a book I am currently reading). There are many books with ideas we can glean from that can help fill our cups to lead others well. We can also gain insight and ideas from listening to podcasts. I have a new habit of listening to podcasts while driving in my car and have learned from the experiences and insights I have heard.
Empty your cup as you lead, mentor, and coach. It's a reciprocal process: The purpose of filling your cup is to be able to help someone else. Those we lead deserve us to value them by presenting them with the ideas, strategies, and systems that we have learned. While we go through the getting and giving process, we must not forget the significance of giving. When you learn a new concept that resonates with you, take a mental note of it and intentionally plan to share this concept with those it will benefit. Hopefully, you find the joy in the giving because it is in the giving that we can help others grow into the leaders they are supposed to be.
5 Practical Ways I Fill My Cup
- Morning Devotion and Journaling (Pray, Read, Write)
- Meeting and Talking Regularly with Mentors and Coaches
- Reading Leadership Books
- Attending Training, Workshops, and Conferences
- Listening to Leadership Podcasts
5 Practical Ways I Empty My Cup
- Creating and Sending Devotionals to My Household
- Regularly Meeting with My Direct Reports
- Writing Leadership Blogs
- Leading and Facilitating Meetings
- Emailing Weekly Quotes to Staff Members
Conclusion:
Reading books, listening to podcasts, and getting insight and direction from a coach or a mentor are steps to filling your cup. We must love and care for the members we lead in our organizations by valuing them and having something significant to give to them. The more you fill up, the more you have to pour, and the more you should pour. The more you pour, the more you and those around you will grow. What is inside of you will come out of you, so make sure that what you are filling yourself with will be something that can help someone else. I want what I give out to help others grow. If you also desire to help others to grow, commit to always filling your cup and sharing what you learn.
6 comments:
Very insightful! I like how you mentioned that you send quotes to your staff. I too am trying to be more intentional with my connection to them. Currently, I make it a point to make contact with EVERY staff member daily and ask them meaningful, questions about their weekend, family, children etc. Great job with your blogpost!
I am not a leader in the traditional sense of the word but I am a mental health provider. I treat people with mental health conditions. So my patients are the ones who many times seek my leadership and direction. Not just in what medicine to prescribe, but many times in their general day to day decision making. The information you’ve provided today is useful to me and a reminder that I cannot empty my cup and be of service to anyone, if there’s nothing in my cup to give. So yes, when dealing with my patients I have to first pray and ask for Godly knowledge and wisdom. I have to equip myself with valuable information for which to share & I rely on God’s grace, favor & mercy to fill my cup.
This was an awesome read! Insightful. Thank you for sharing.
Very important to see how people view how important it is to listen and learn. To have any meaningful impact it is important to gather as much information as possible from as many sources as possible. I really like how you used a cup to illustrate your vision to help support the importance of being a good leader. I always believe that leadership is about communication and allowing everyone to have a say. But at the end of the day you must lead with strength and honesty. Great blog
I’ve often thought about this concept of operating from a full cup in terms of service to my church or to my friends or mentees, but not from the perspective of what I give to my job and to my staff. Great points for consideration and in how to practically do so.
This blog is timely, and reinforces how crucial it is for leaders to continuously fill up our cups.. Since we are constantly emptying our cups. Thank you so much,
Vince, great concepts and principles provided in your blog “Filing Your Cup”, but it’s even more important to empty your cup by pouring into others because people are thirsty. Good job. I also agree that effective leaders bed to continue to learn and grow by reading books, listening to podcasts and having mentors. I also refer to John Wooden quotes - great leader. Again good job. I enjoyed listening and learned a few things as I continue to grow :).
Afarah Board, PhD
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