What do you expect, and do your expectations change based on the person in front of you? One of the greatest challenges in leadership may be learning to lead each person based on established expectations, even when they have consistently failed to meet those expectations. When I played sports, I used to hear some of my coaches say to me and my teammates, "Be happy when I am correcting you and be nervous when I stop correcting you." When I became a coach, I repeated this phrase to my players, thinking it was good to communicate this to them. Now, as I look back on this statement, I realize it suggests that it is acceptable to lead biasly instead of continuing to lead everyone with the same expectations.
Unfortunately, some leaders lead their people based on bias. How do you lead when you notice someone in your organization or on your team who has a low work ethic, fixed mindset, lack of motivation, etc., and does not meet expectations? Instead of leading with a bias or ignoring this person, do you continue communicating the expectations and lead with them? As leaders, we must lead with expectations regardless of the individual's actions. “Coach them up or coach them out” is a phrase I am now becoming more familiar with. This phrase is quite the opposite of what my coaches would say, and I followed suit by stating the phrase to the players on my team. The phrase “Coach them up or coach them out" emphasizes not letting disappointment hinder you from putting in the work to help someone get better. Each person deserves our best effort to support them in becoming better, and if they do not, it is not because the expectations have changed but because they choose not to.
A key aspect of leading with expectations is that people, including yourself, can choose whether they will meet or surpass the expectations that have been communicated—we all have a choice in this. As I continue to say, everything starts and stops with leadership. In Developing the Leader Within You (1993), John Maxwell says, “People tend to become what the most important people in their lives think they will become. What do you think those you are leading—your children, your students, your employees, etc.—will become? You are that important person in someone’s life, and they are counting on you to see them as something bigger than they see themselves.
