Failure…why is it feared by some and embraced by others? Is it the idea of failure that imprisons the minds of many people, or is it the imagined and, in some cases, the realistic repercussions that come along with the failure? Why can’t failure be looked at as an opportunity for growth? Admiral William McRaven, in his book "Make Your Bed" (2017), says, "True leaders must learn from their failures, use the lessons to motivate themselves, and not be afraid to try again or make the next tough decision." In essence, a leader should understand that failure and mistakes happen because we are human. It would be nice if none of us had to deal with failure and mistakes, but that is not reality, and leaders should not let their failures and mistakes negatively affect their next decision. Rather, the leader should become more tenacious, more determined, better prepared, and extremely confident to make the next tough decision.
Honestly, there is no way anyone can achieve any level of success and sustain it without experiencing failure. Failure to success started at a young age. Most of us learned how to walk, talk, ride a bike, play an instrument, play a sport, and much more by failing forward. So, then what is it about failure that is so frightening? Recently, each member of my leadership team was asked to reveal a leadership fear or frustration. I have to admit that my answer was the fear of failure. As I continue to reflect on the answer I shared with my team, I have come to realize that my fear is not failure in the sense of messing up. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, and I do not want to make them, but the fear I communicated to my team is much more profound than that. What I fear is not being the leader that I am called to be for the people that I am called to lead.
I do not want to be the leader who does not lead based on my convictions and values, allowing myself to compromise to the external and internal pressures that I face during tough times. It's hard to lead through adversity, to hold tough conversations, and to make the tough decisions that need to be made. Admiral McRaven, in one of his other books, "The Wisdom of the Bullfrog" (2023), says, "I often hear that it's hard to know the right thing to do. No, it's not! You always know what's right, but sometimes it's very hard to do it. It's hard because you may have to admit failure. It's hard because the right decision may affect your friends and colleagues. It's hard because you may not personally benefit from doing what's right. Yeah, it's hard. That's called leadership."
So what's the alternative? The alternative is what failure really is. When we don't do what we know is right and do not make the right decisions because it is hard, that's failure. Although making mistakes and failing to reach a desired outcome is very hard to deal with, failing to make the hard decisions and not doing what we know is right is far worse.
