Why would someone, let alone a leader, want to embrace conflict? Isn't conflict bad? Doesn't it lead to arguments, fights, or someone getting hurt emotionally? Yes, it possibly can. If you are a person who tries to avoid conflict or have just learned to deal with it, talking about embracing conflict might actually present conflict to you. But what if I told you that conflict could be good, healthy, and lead to productivity, growth, and health within teams, organizations, and communities? In several books I have read and am currently reading, I have seen this theme of healthy conflict presented as an asset embraced in leadership and in healthy teams. I also work in an environment where conflict is encouraged, and we are learning how to embrace it.
When I first arrived at my work location, just about a year and a half ago, my boss gave me a book to read entitled "The FIVE Dysfunctions of a TEAM" (2002) by Patrick Lencioni. In his pyramid of a team’s dysfunctions, the second level is "fear of conflict". Why is the fear of conflict a problem? Shouldn't we avoid conflict? Evidently not, according to Lencioni. The "fear of conflict" and avoiding it is a problem; it is what dysfunctional teams do. And if dysfunctional teams do this, it is safe to say that dysfunctional leaders also do this, or at least they allow the avoidance to happen. Lencioni says, "Teams that lack trust are incapable of engaging in unfiltered and passionate debate of ideas. Instead, they resort to veiled discussions and guarded comments." Katherine, a fictional character who is a CEO in the story Lencioni created to present the 5 dysfunctions, says, "If we don't trust one another, then we aren't going to engage in open, constuctive, and idealogical conflict. And we'll just continue to preserve a sense of artificial harmony."
If you're not convinced yet, Jim Collins, in his book "Good to Great" (2001), discusses the use of conflict in leadership. He writes, "Dick Cooley and David Maxwell both exemplified a classic Level 5 style when they said, 'I don't know where we should take this company, but I do know that if I start with the right people, ask them the right questions, an engage them in vigorous debate, we will find a way to make this company great.'" Collins later states in the summary of this chapter in his book, "Good to great management teams consist of people who debate vigorously in search of the best answers, yet who unify behind decisions, regardless of parochial interests." If you are not the type of person who embraces conflict, it is time to start being the leader who does, because it is what leaders of healthy teams, families, organizations, and communities do.
There is an idiom, "iron sharpens iron," and a proverb written by King Solomon that says in one translation, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." This sharpening can only happen through conflict. When "iron sharpens iron", it gets hot, sparks fly, they clash back and forth...they go through conflict. As a result of this conflict, both become better and ready to do the work they need to do more effectively. When leaders create an atmosphere of trust, and people take the risk to engage in conflict with one another, good ideas, plans, and actions become great ones. So, as a leader, who are you sharpening? When this process of sharpening and allowing ourselves to be sharpened through conflict becomes consistent, we can have the opportunity to lead our teams, families, organizations, and communities from being just mediocre and good to greatness.
