How vulnerable are you as a leader? Before you get defensive, consider this: what if I told you that vulnerability in leadership is a strength? This is not the vulnerability when someone is taken advantage of, but vulnerability in leadership is something that establishes trust. Daniel Coyle, in his book The Culture Code (2018), says, “vulnerability doesn't come after trust—it precedes it.” That's a big statement. Let’s go a little deeper.
Mr. Coyle, in his book, introduces “a professor of organizational behavior at Harvard” named Dr. Jeff Polzer. Coyle quotes Polzer, and I quote, “It’s about sending a really clear signal that you have weaknesses, that you could use help. And if that behavior becomes a model for others, then you can set the insecurities aside and get to work, start to trust each other and help each other.” As I have said before, everything starts and stops with leadership. If we want our teams to function well, we have to be willing to be vulnerable first.
No one knows everything or knows how to do everything. I will add to the quote mentioned by Coyle at the beginning of this blog and say that vulnerability not only precedes trust, but it also empowers others. If people think I got it and do not need any help, then they will most likely let me take care of it. But, if I display vulnerability and let others know I don't have the answer or I don't know how to do it, it empowers those on my team to assist. Hopefully, as we model this as leaders, our team members will begin to do the same.
1. Be Honest: If you do not know how to do something, let others know. How can trust be established if the communication, “I got it,” is a lie? If we need help (which we all do), speak up, ask questions, and empower someone else to help.
2. Embrace Help: This is one of the most invigorating experiences in teamwork when team members embrace help from one another and are willing to help each other. Embracing help is one of my leadership habits. It not only helps me, but it also helps others. I just recently had an awesome experience embracing help with planning for Instructional Rounds at my site. The experience I had with the plan coming together without needing to believe or act as if I had to know all the answers is what I hope you, as a leader, will also experience regularly.
3. Share Your Experiences with Others: Let others know about your vulnerability experiences with your teams. We have leaders within our teams that we should be developing. They need to know that leadership is not about knowing everything and/or doing everything. If we help them understand now, as they lead before they get a position, that being vulnerable comes before trust and it empowers others, we have done a good work.
Conclusion:
So, how vulnerable are you in your leadership? Are you willing to be honest, embrace help, and share your experiences with others? I have made the commitment to be vulnerable not just so I can be trusted, but to be honest, embrace help, and share my experiences with others so that I might empower people to use their abilities to help others and display vulnerability themselves. What about you?
Additional Comments:
I want to hear from you. Please post your comments and suggestions in the comments section on this page. Thank you for reading or listening to this blog post. Stay tuned for the next blog, scheduled to be posted during the week of Monday, November 3, 2025.
8 comments:
Wow, this really aligned with the conversation we had today during our meeting. The importance of leaving your ego behind in order to be able to experience growth and team work. Very cool.
Perfect analysis! I appreciate opportunities to be "vulnerable" and hope in that moment, I have built up my team members to work outside of their comfort zones becasue of the safe place we've created. Ty!
Very practical, Vince. The suggestions are applicable not just for leaders, but for people in general. Good job, Dear Nephew. Aunt Melly
You’ve provided some practical suggestions in this article. Vulnerability is definitely a learned skill.Thank you for sharing.
Very practical ideas and suggestions!
This was very insightful. Vulnerability is not always something that I practice in my leadership because I was always taught to “fake it til you make it”. Although that has mostly served me well, when it doesn’t, you really have nothing to fall back on. This was an excellent read and definitely makes me rethink how I approach certain tasks, especially the ones that are beyond my current level of understanding or capability.
The part about being vulnerable so that others can trust you. Yes!
Great post. Reflection is important and becoming increasingly more difficult in the age of phones, constant digital availability, and social media. Driving and biking is a good time for me. Thanks for this!
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